Invisible Bikes Sketch 10/06/2014

Scene opens with unrehearsed parent sitting on a park bench, reading a newspaper. The script is pasted on the inside of the newspaper. Two children, a boy and a girl, arrive ringing bells on bike handlebars, both pretending to ride their bikes.

Kid 1: This is a good place. Let's stop here for five minutes.
Kid 2: OK.
Parent: Nice bicycle!
Kid 1: Yes it is, isn't it? Thanks. (PAUSE) What colour is my bicycle?
Parent: Er... it's a blue nice very!
Kid 1: (NODDING HEAD) Cool! Er, I think English is not your first language, right?
Parent: Right!
Kid 2: So, where are you from?
Parent: I'm from Switzerland. I'm Swiss!
Kid 1: Ooh, I've got a Swiss clock at home. It's a cuckoo clock.
Kid 2: Ah, yes! In your kitchen. Cuckoo! One o'clock! Time for lunch!
Kid 1: That's it! Er, can you tell me the time, please?
Parent: No, sorry. I haven't got a watch.
Kid 2: Have you got a mobile phone?
Parent: Ah, yes, silly me! It's four and twenty.
Kid 2: You mean - it's twenty past four!
Parent: It's twenty past four, yes.
Kid 1: Can we sit here, please?
Parent: Yes, sit down.
Kid 2: Thanks, phew! I'm tired and hungry.
Parent: I've got some biscuits. Do you want one?
Kid 2: No, thanks. My Mum says I mustn't get biscuits from strangers.
Kid 1: Your Mum doesn't say that! She says you mustn't TALK to strangers.
Kid 2: It's the same.
Parent: Let me introduce myself. My name is Wolfgang. And you?
Kid 1: I'm Paul and this is Cheryl.
Parent: Pleased to meet you. (SHAKES HANDS)
Kid 2: How do you do?
Parent: How do you do?
Kid 2: Now we are not strangers!
Parent: That's correct, Cheryl! So, do you want a biscuit now?
Kid 2: Oh, yes please!

DIALOGUE: Where are you from?
Alice: Where are you from Bianca?
Bianca: I'm from Novara
Alice: Oh! I'm from Novara, too!
Bianca: Great, isn't it!
Alice: Er, not really, no..
Bianca: What do you mean?
Alice: I mean that it's quite boring here sometimes, don't you think?
Bianca: Mmm, I suppose you're right. In summer it can get a bit dull. There isn't much to do during the day except for sunbathe..
Alice: And sleep!

MONOLOGUE: New girl in class
Philip: There's a new girl in my class. Her name is Alison. She's tall and skinny. She wears glasses, so she looks intelligent, but she's also quite friendly. She gives me chewing gum nearly every day. After school she runs home to play her electric guitar. I'm jealous because I don't have an electric guitar. Never mind - I can't even play normal guitar!

MONOLOGUE: I feel sick!
Homer: I ate too much at lunch and now I feel sick. I don't normally eat so much, but today there was lasagne in the school canteen and so I ate two portions.Then I had some chocolate cake. And some strawberry milk. No wonder I feel sick!

MONOLOGUE: Super Skateboard Girl
Homer: I saw Alison this morning - riding to school on her super-cool skateboard. She looks great whizzing past the school bus at 25km/hour. Her long blonde hair looks good even under a helmet! (Sigh!)

DIALOGUE: My imperfect cousin
Bianca: Oh, no! That's my cousin over there!
Gabriella: What's wrong with her?
Bianca: I can't stand her. She really loves herself.
Gabriella: She can't be that bad - she's wearing Dr. Marten boots!
Bianca: Everybody's wearing those boots these days - I'm bored with them.
Gabriella: Oh, come off it, Bianca! They're still in fashion. We're wearing them, too!
Bianca: Mmm, I suppose you're right. I just wish she didn't try to be cool like us!
Gabriella: We are cool, yes!
Bianca: I've got an idea - let's start a new fashion! Let's wear wellington boots to school!
Gabriella: Yes! And carry umbrellas when the sun is shining! Nobody does that!
Bianca: Yeah! We can stay cool in the shade of our brollies! Neat!